Black hole within…

February 3, 2009

Black hole within……

Science defines black hole as a massive region in space where the gravitational field is so powerful that nothing, absolutely nothing escapes from its pull.
That’s the space science operating there, but in my personal self there is a separate science functioning, a different black hole. A Black hole within me, my soul and with each passing day I feel the black hole is getting bigger and bigger.
Engulfing everything coming in proximity of it, be it the aspirations, the paths that I find and keep to walk further or be it even the signs that I keep looking to find myself. I look for them and the black hole pulls them and again I’m left with vacuums. Vaccums so hard to fill because I don’t even remember what was there, that I lost….

My blackhole makes me feel lost, make me a person who knows how to write but yet is not aware of the blank spaces within those lines, the spaces that stop the flow of writing. The spaces that I try to fill again and again by end number of permutations and combinations of words, thoughts and feelings, but it makes it a bigger mess. I keep erasing, keep writing, keep filling those spaces yet it doesn’t fall into place.

At times I feel this black hole is the search for self, the fill in the blanks are the roads that am suppose to walk, the vacuums are the things that really matter to me…and I don’t know what are those things.. We all go through those black holes at some point of time in life. Some walk past it some get engulfed and never come out.

The velocity of thoughts at times knocks my head, it feels suffocated and the very next moment there is silence that deafens you. How I wish the black hole blocks and I find my lost self again…. It scares me, makes me defenceless. It is reaching to my “I” an “I” that I lived for, I loved for.. everything revolves around that “I”..this blackhole is reaching for that “I” .. The entire shift from my “I” that loves to the “I” that is alone is hit by the black hole. Time to block the black holes, search for my soul and save the “I”.

I wish the black hole pulls the black hole within me…



I am proud to be an Indian

May 14, 2008

Strange title but a worthwhile one.. Thought what should be my very first write up on my blog.. And d only topic hitting my thought lines was India..

The story goes like this I m just another individual amidst today’s youth clan, the clan which claims to win the world, the clan that has gr8 aspiration n huge ambitions, the clan that believes that if u have money, u have power you have everything.. and also the clan which thinks India is not a developed country, who thinks the political scenario stinks in India, who thinks that “Is desh ka kuch nai ho sakta” ..

Yupp! is desh ka kuch nai ho sakta cuz wherever u look up u just find corruption, you walk on roads you find dirt and find ppl begging around you, find children in torn clothes dirty faces, running noses working in hell like conditions and we the youth only feel the emotion of sympathy and empathy towards them. Bomb blast , attacks you name anything anything worse and you find in India and my clan , the youth we all keep criticizing cuz our country is going into dearth of intellectual  thinking.

Now lets rewind d above scenario again with sum additions to it. We walk on roads and find dirt and filth all around .WHAT DO WE DO? We add to it and dump our trash on the roads as well, we find ppl begging around we give them a conceited look or throw in some penny’s and walk away, we find children in hell like conditions but none of us has the guts to raise a voice against it. We just pity and advice.

We talk of corruption but as soon as a traffic man stops us for breaking a signal we pay him some money and try to get rid of him than later criticize him for doing so. We talk of corruption we talk of illegal practices, we talk of terrorism… we talk we talk we talk… Yes , we the youth the clan that I and you belong to just TALKS.

We don’t feel proud of being a part of INDIA which is true, we should not feel proud of India becuz we do nothing for our country. We always expect the country to come and serve us, we expect roads to be clean , system to be clean, law and order in place, children educated, bla bla n bla the list goes on.. but …..

We the so called CAPABLE BRIGHT INDIAN YOUTH do nothing for it.

We talk of change, we talk of alterations in the system, we talk  of anything flashy in superb English .We are the not so proud Indian youth.

Now look at it this way, we are low on economy front, our Rupee is rising slowly , inflation is augmenting, terrorism is spreading like algae in our country, people are suffering and dying but still

US Economy is afraid of India , inspite of suffering our happiness and joy quotient is much higher to any other country. We are not the most literate economy but we still have the knowledge to handle the most complex situations. Our children are begging but not killing or committing suicide like in other countries. And I am proud to be an Indian cuz of that.

And my country should not be proud of me cuz I belong to the Youth that just talks.


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May 14, 2008

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